Secchione...

I have accepted that I am not the coolest person in the world.

Most of my childhood, I struggled to come to terms with gangly arms and legs. 

A very small head.  Broad shoulders. 

Really bad eyes and big glasses, braces for an underbite and lots of hand-me-downs.  

Bad hair...

I have a strange penchant for spouting off facts and correcting people's grammar.

I am rubbish at maths but have an uncanny knack for proper usage of the English language.  

I can sing a song after hearing the hook just once. 

I quote film lines.  A lot.

A tad bit clumsy as well...

I am geek.

Hear me roar.

My proper English husband doesn't quite like the 'labels' we Americans tend to use - Geek, Nerd, Jock and the like are all cliquey ways that we are divided in Small Town High School, USA.  

But unlike the negative connotation they had for me at 13-and-awkward years old, I have come to fully cherish my inner geekiness at 32-and-only-slightly-less-awkward years old.

Glasses AND a band uniform!? Love it!!

Married for five years now, this regression into Geek Town is only made more apparent by the stark contrast to the social lives of our single friends.  While they are out having drinks and dinner, I am slipping into my comfy PJs and settling in to watch Jersey Shore with the Hubs - and that drama is just about all I can handle...

I look comfortable as a Nerd, Hubby less so - he is cooler than me...

While they are thinking about heading out to the bars or a big concert, I am concerned that my tulips and hydrangeas are going to be destroyed by the excess rain we have been having.

While they are setting lunch dates and working in an office, I am cleaning my house in leg warmers and an Amy Winehouse-esque head scarf.  I have literally just put on a pair of wellie boots to go check on my three chickens...I'm worried about them in all this rain.

 Don't get me wrong, I don't feel weird about my current lifestyle.  Hubby and I certainly do cool things like go out to nice restaurants and throw hugely fun dinner parties.  But I'll be damned if the need for a cracking social life would ever trump our need to get that sweet baby girl into bed at a decent hour.  

Some people just need their sleep...Baby and Hubby included.  

What a couple...

So to all the people who have struggled with the label which has been given to you...

Embrace it, I say.  

Took me a while, but this Geek in leg warmers is here to stay...

Cool baby girl...she may have a chance...

xoxo sjkh

Muscle Cars

Just in case you don't know, I have the best family ever.

Specifically - the best father ever.

Now what makes a father so fantastic you ask?  Several things really.  

The first and foremost reason that my dad is so awesome is that he has four daughters and not one shotgun.  That, dear readers, is an accomplishment in itself.  

For with Steve Keusch, there is no need to brandish such means of intimidation.  

Don't know my father?  That is probably impossible.  

He actually knows everyone on this planet.  I have witnessed him strike up a conversation with someone he "knows" in every county of Indiana, several counties south of the river in Kentucky and even standing alongside the sparkling canals of Venice, Italy.  Admittedly he doesn't "know" these people per se - perhaps the better idiom is that he doesn't know a stranger.  

He listens.  He jokes.  

He makes you feel like what you have to say is pretty darn important - but he will not listen to bull.  He is a walking talking bullshit detector.  I know this first-hand.

He also takes time for his kids like no other dad in the world...there are 5 of us, so that is pretty darn time consuming.  He gives extra time on top of that for his grandkids...a mere 3 of those at the moment, but even if each of us has only two babies, I expect 10 grandchildren will keep him rather occupied in the future.  That's a lot of chocolate to hand out when Mommy and Daddy aren't looking...

The Bosses and the Fam

But the top top reason he is so great.  

He and my mom taught us how to be good.  

Good at everything we try.  Even if we are shit at whatever it is, they wanted us to succeed at life, not just at one thing.  This is the very reason why I can sew, cook, bake, change a tire, use a powertool, garden, wash a car, sand a fender...the list goes on. 

Instilled in each of us are the family values and work ethic that make our family a successful unit.  

Also instilled in all of us is a love for Muscle Cars.  

Random, you say?  Not if you know my father...

The family grocery-getter...

 I spent the formative years of my youth riding around in the back of this 1968 GT500KR Shelby. It was my mom's car, and if I am not mistaken, they really didn't know what the heck they had on their hands.  

I vividly remember being a backseat passenger in another GT500 Shelby riding round the Indianapolis Motor Speedway...my sister Keena and I taking the racing straps from the front to tether us in, as the angle of the track had us sliding all over the backseat.  My mom was probably about 38 weeks pregnant with my brother Kail...so these memories were made for us even whilst in the womb.

Every time I smell gasoline, exhaust from a carburated engine, or moth balls I am immediately transported back to my childhood - packing up the Shelby to take a ride for the weekend car show in Brown County national park.  Once a year, every May since I can remember...this was a pretty big deal for us kids.  We usually saw these "car friends" on just this one special occasion.
We were allowed to run free among the rows of polished muscle cars (never touching of course...the very first lesson we were taught upon delivery into this world).

We ran through the forests of the park all day, being sure to make it back for chili and hot dogs at lunch.  It was a different time...who knew back then that these family trips, all the car-washing, chamois-ing, and Armor All would stick with me for the rest of my life like it has. 

 The last time I spent that special yearly weekend in May with my family in Brown County, Indiana was two days before I left for Italy...an appropriate last weekend all together. 

Big blue sky and trees as far as the eye can see....I love Indiana...

And since that departure, there is not much more I long for than to once again spend that particular weekend stateside .  Plus the added desire to pass the Muscle Car love on to my baby girl...

We start 'em young...

So, while my husband is indeed a slightly younger version of my car-enthusiast father; he tends to favour the wrong side of the 70s....as well as the wrong side of the Atlantic.  He looks at and drools over British motors which I have never heard of, and all the while I can't imagine why he or anyone else for that matter wouldn't want to run a Classic Mustang.

My favourite!

 Agree to disagree I guess...because these wonderful days that formed my character and formed our strong Keusch family bond come in part from the hard work of the patriarch, Steve. 

Hard work as a body man, and even harder work as a daddy to all of us.  

One day I promise I will be back to help wash the cars and set out on the road to Brown County...

xoxo sjkh

PS - Family pictures taken by the fab Miss Meghan Hochgesang ; MH Photography ...Indiana people, you should RUN to your telephone to book her up.  Like, NOW.  For real, she is the best.


PPS- Did you know that my father is a rough customer to convince him to travel this way to come visit?  Do you think this worked??

Bucket list?

After nearly SEVEN years living here in Italy, I have come to realise that I have been doing just that.  

Living in Italy.

While I have made the most of my life here, I suddenly get this strangely proud feeling in my stomach when I think about the things I have done while I have been living here - some AMAZING things honestly.  

But that strange feeling quickly turns to knots when I think about the things that I HAVEN'T done while I have been living here.  

It's funny how a life that is beautiful and comfortable can suck you in no matter where you are at.  I was the same in Indiana to be honest.  I had no desire to really get out there, to see what there was outside my fun little bubble in Indianapolis...until I met Henry and that all changed.  

So I made the big jump...I came here seven years ago full of adventure and full of the desire to learn, to see and to experience.  And I have.  

Don't get me wrong here ladies and gents, I have certainly taken this life and grabbed it by the proverbial 'palle'.  I became quasi-fluent in a language I had ZERO words in (unless you count, pizza, spaghetti and 'non parlo italiano') and that took me about 2 years.  After that, I organised not one but TWO of my own weddings using said language - and subsequently threw the two best damn wedding parties I have ever attended (third best being round three in Indiana...).  

I gestated and pushed out a perfect baby girl hopped up on nothing but meditation and a few curse words...all through social healthcare believe it or not!  

I have seen many places - London, Austria, a bit of Germany, Slovenia, Monaco and the south of France.  But still I feel this knot rising up in my belly...

Why, I wonder.  The simple answer is this.  I am a mamma and wifey extraordinaire.  Last weekend I took my girly to a 'paperine' (little ducks) swimming lesson, worked, and then spent the days chasing her and the chickens around the garden and watching dvds.  

So when people enquire about all the wonderful things that Europe has to offer and the things I have had the amazing opportunity to see, I kind of have a mini panic attack.  

I am largely a homebody.  I love the Hart Compound Monfumo. 

So, I need to make myself a bucket list...if not just to make me feel better.  

I need to at least PRETEND that I have more of a desire to see the world than to just sit and tend to my tomatoes and basil in the veggie patch.  

So here it is - My bucket list of European places not done but definitely must do...

1) See Paris - Even if it is a solo journey.  Hubs is not a fan, so it would be hard as I am completely LOST with the French language...
2) Visit Spain - Not so picky where!  If for nothing than to just brush off my Spanish and eat tapas.
3) See the Vatican - A quick trip around Rome didn't cut it.  I want to see more!
4) Visit the south of Italy - Maybe not Napoli, but I'm thinking beaches, lemons and sun...
5) See Berlin - If just to see what remains of the divide...history not to be missed.
6) Spend more than an afternoon in Venice.  Sounds weird, as it is in my backyard, but I have never seen the sun set over Grand Canal. 

...and here is one I will be able to check off this list at the weekend...

7) See my baby girl learn how to ski on the SAME piste where I learned to ski 7 years ago...

Wow.  Where has the time gone...?  

So, What's on your bucket list?

xoxo sjkh
 

Naughty Chooks...

So finally for the first time in 2012, I have got myself into a good groove. 

Working hard in and out of the house, smiling more, and trying to get in a run here and there in the mornings when I can.  Yet here I sit at my computer this morning, a prisoner in my own home.  

Held captive by a little red free range hen.

"Sorry SJ, you're not going anywhere for a while..."

How is my sweet chicken imprisoning me you ask?  Well, she seems to have designated the wintry flower beds next to my door as the place to lay her egg this morning and gets a bit peeved when I try to pass.

  I have mixed feelings about this.  

One part of me wants to say, "Hey sod you lady chicken, this is my house and I will open my front door any damn time I please!".  The other part of me says, "Please carry on.  Your eggs are tasty and having it delivered to me at my front door is so kind of you."

Now as I have one eye on the computer screen and one eye on the chicken nestled in my flowers, my mind races.  Am I too permissive with my chickens? Is that even a thing?

Consulting the online communities of cool 30-ish hipsters such as myself who keep chickens in their ultra-sleek city coops (ahem, I keep mine in a barn in the middle of the country in the foothills of the Italian Dolomites, not the populated suburbs of Chicago or New York), I suddenly feel inadequate as a chicken farmer.  I do not have a fancy coop and a "run" for them.  My chicken house most certainly does NOT look like one of those that you see on Pinterest.  

Chicken Mansion...

I have two little red hens and a white one with a limp.  They are misfits.  They are dirty from rolling around in my wintry veggie garden.  They eat veggie scraps and leftover pasta.  They play-fight with my chihuahua.  I cannot relate to these city-slicker hipster chicken mammas who most likely collect their morning eggs in their purpose bought Hunter wellies. 

So thanks to my feathered friends, I have come to realise that much like everything else I have done in my life, no matter how 'normal', this too has got that certain "Steffi-Esque" twist to it.  

That, my friends IS a thing.  I know because I live it.  

So to my "free range" chicken ladies - welcome to my free range life.  No cordoned off area for you to 'feel' free.  I am free range in this small world of ours, much like you girls in our Monfumo garden.  

And you can lay your eggs anywhere you damn well please...

Buon appetito!!

xoxo sjkh

Seasonal Sweeties...

I understand I have been a bit 'wah-wah-waaahhhh' lately, so I have vowed to get myself back on my blogging track.  What a better way to get myself back in the positive swing of things than to write about - Hands Down - the most wonderful thing to have ever existed in the history of Italy.

No, not shoes.  Not handbags.  Not those silly Romans (Athough I DO, in fact, thank them every day for many super inventions like the modern legal system, running water, and those really strappy sandals).

The most wonderful Italian invention EVER???
FRITTELLE.

A little background on this funny adopted country of mine...of the several holiday seasons that we celebrate, there is a special sweet or cake to go along with each one.  For Christmas there is Panettone, a sort of spongy cake with raisins or candied fruit in it. For Easter there is a similar cake (I am sure all the Italians reading this are freaking out right now.."NO!  Its not the same, it is completely different!").  This one is called focaccia (like the flat bread but sweet) and it is just a spongy sweet cake with sugar on top.  This one is in the shape of a dove.  

There are several others which I honestly don't often take part in, but the top banana is definitely the Frittelle.  This one comes around only once a year like the others. A very special sweetie that makes his appearance after Christmas and before Carnevale.  I personally challenge myself to stuff as many of these tiny balls of sweet sin into my gob as possible in this short time.  

Frittelle are very simple to be honest, they are just small fried balls of dough, sometimes with raisins, sometimes with different essences.  Then stuffed with custard cream or zabaglione, a type of cream with a liquory taste.  I like to keep it real with the custard.  

This particular year, I have given myself the looming task to review all of the local frittelle slingers...after careful consideration - meaning that I have eaten about 600 so far and Carnevale is still 2 weeks away - the winner (and has been my preferred Frittelle pusher for 6 years...) is Cafe Centrale in Asolo.  I don't know what they put in those things to keep me coming back, but the fact that they offer only a limited amount every day and if you don't get there first thing in the morning to get the cream ones you are pretty much SOL nonetheless keeps my chunky butt parked in their seats nearly every day drinking copious amounts of coffee and ordering those sweet little puppies two at a time.  

Now, as Centrale is closed on Tuesdays, and I was going through some serious withdrawals, I decided to churn up a recipe and give these beauties a go in the Hart kitchen.  

With my helper all the way from the USA!  Flat Maci!

Now as I said they are quite easy - Boil sugar, butter and water with a little bit of salt.  Add in flour, whisking it so there are no lumps, take it off the heat and let it cool.  Add in a couple eggs after it has cooled and put it all to one side.  

Custard!!!

Flat Maci is a huge help!!

Now for the custard, whisk together sugar and egg yolks, add in a little flour and then some milk.  Cook it all over a medium heat until it all thickens up nicely. Add in FRESH vanilla bean...

Scrape out thie insides and mix it all in...toss in the pod as well while it cools...

Now, get some oil hot, and fry those little suckers!

Fry like bacon you little piggies...fry!

 Fish them out, and put them on kitchen paper to drain and cool...

Now here is the good part...Get a piping bag with a point on it, fill that bag with your custard (take out the pod obviously)...and then poke those suckers and fill them up!

Why yes, that is masking tape on my piping bag.  I am a ghetto baker.

 

Dust them with powdered sugar and eat eat eat!!

Flat Maci presents - "This Is Why You're Fat - Frittelle Edition"

xoxo sjkh