Come on now, did you really expect a has-been-beauty-queen to stay mum when Miss USA time rolls around?
While my time to shine was a lifetime ago, I tend to think that style - regardless the changes in trends - is a difficult thing for every girl to find. The trick to participating in a national pageant is to be "Hey! Look at me!" without being "Hey! What the F**K am I wearing...isn't it WILD!?" I can honesty say that I was very proud of my styling at Miss USA - major props to my sister Keena and my Mom...they kept me tailored and stylish. No fashion disasters!
The dress was perfect...maybe I should have worn my hair down, but it was definitely a competitive year, so who knows...I doubt that a change to my mane would have been able to compete with Shandi's magic boobies or Amanda's Polar Bear (I LOVE you Amanda...and you rocked that bear, dammit!)
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| Wizard tatas |
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| Grrrr..... |
But as true as time itself, every year there is a new boobies queen and another endangered animal sacrificed in the name of patties round the world which grace the Miss USA stage...so, here we are.
The Miss USA 2011 Buona, Brutta e Bruttissima...
Buona!
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| AZ - Wow! Colour is perfect and the length is super dramatic!! |
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| SC - Makes me (sorta) want to be a blonde! |
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| CO - I don't usually like sleeves but the entire look is right (maybe less shoe though...) |
BRUTTA!
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| AK - One saggy boob and Elvira hair? |
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| MN - Do you like my crocheted vest? Thanks Gran! |
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| TN - This is a national pageant. Get your shit tailored ladies. Sloppy. |
BRUTTISSIMA!
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| CT - Gives whole new meaning to "Oops, I did it again..." |
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| MI - Sod tailoring. Just cut a pelt into pieces and scotch tape them together... |
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| NJ - This must be the NJ state costume? No...It isn't? Oh. |
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| OH - OH no. Just...No. |
And "Pennekamp Endangered Animal" award goes to...
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| NV - I don't know what kind of animal this was, but it certainly makes me want to kill something... |
There it is folks...as for the ladies I did not mention (Ahem, Miss Indiana...) you all need a bit of work.
As far as my predictions, I see a sea of white and tan dresses this year...the final girl standing will have taken a stylish chance with colour...
Now go forth and strut your shit...and don't let Billy Bush grab your ass.
xoxo sjkh
LOL, hilarious! What in the hell; why would you make yourself look like Elvira Ohio? wow
ReplyDeleteI know. That is just all kinds of bad advice rolled into one...hair, dress, shoes. Usually they get at least ONE right. It's a bad styling trifecta.
ReplyDeleteYour dress is gorgeous, by the way! I don't know if I'd seen it before. And I have to say that I like the midnight blue of Ms MN (the rest of it, not so much.)
ReplyDelete