Sei Pazza...

I simply cannot tell you how many times I have head the phrase - "Sei pazza..." 

Translation: "You're crazy..."

The other day in fact, I heard it no less than 5 times from one lady in the space of one conversation.

This really made me wonder...AM I crazy?  A little touched?  

I know I'm different, but seriously?  Crazy?

Well, what does an every day 'un-crazy' lady do when she hears this...she makes a list of all the things that the Italians have called her crazy for - and includes a rebuttal.  

That'll show 'em...

'La Lista di 'Sei Pazza" and Steffi's Rebuttal...'

(It's sort of like church...follow each question with the response "You're Crazy!")

1. "You moved to Italy from the USA?"  (Well, yeah.  I finally found a dude who could tolerate me)
2. "You have a small chihuahua?" (It's a dog. Get over it.)
3. "You want to ride a mountainbike?" (Well, you can blame my husband for that...I do)
4. "Oh my goodness you're not wearing a scarf!" (It's 70 degrees for Christ's sake)
5. "What? Sandals? In this weather?" (See Above...)
6. "Aren't you cold in that short sleeved shirt?" (Ahem.  70 degrees.)
7. "You have never been to the beach near here?" (100 degrees and a bunch of smelly, half naked Italians about 2 inches from me does not sound like fun...)
8. "You want to buy a house that needs work?" (Because spending double the money on a small apartment in the middle of a hundred other apartments is a MUCH better investment, right?)
9. "You don't want the name of a guy who does the gardening for you?" (I think I can dig up some flower beds and prune roses myself thank you very much)
10. "What? You don't think your child needs to go to the International English School?" (Yes, because the English we speak here at home is obviously inferior to that of the Italian mother tongue teachers there)
11. "You will fly to the US all alone...just you and the baby??" (Yep.  Got me there.)
12. "Dentist appointments every 6 months?" (Right, because the yellow on your teeth really brings out the sparkle in your eyes)
13. "You're going to paint the (insert room name, house, baseboards, and whatever here)??" (I have arms and can buy paint in the hardware store, seems like a waste of energy to pick up the phone and ask someone else to do it for me)
14. "Jogging? In this weather?" (I am a human, not the Wicked Witch of the West...a bit of drizzle never killed me)
15. "You don't have a nanny?" (Nope.  And yes, I think I am a bit crazy for that one...)
16. "You are going to put carpet in your house?" (Because an ice cold floor in the winter is so comfy)
17. "And you are going to put it down by yourself???" (Again.  Got me there.  That is definitely freaking nuts)
18. "You read a book to quit smoking? And you don't think that you were brainwashed?" (Yes. Damn you, Evil Brainwashing Mr. Carr.  Damn you for brainwashing me into thinking that smoking is bad for me...)

Aaand.  The one I have heard more often than I care to admit...

  19. "You have been here for 6 years??"

(Yep.  That is crazy.  Even crazier is that I may or may not even like it just a teensy little bit...shhhhhhh)

 So....am I crazy or not???

Here's how it is.  Americans are different.  Different to even the Brits.  

The crash of cultures in this house is mental...Mexican Prada insists on playing La Cucaracha at all hours while British Henry wants to drink tea constantly and cannot choose a suitable cravat on any given occasion.  British/American/Italian Olivia really cannot stop arguing with herself about which country David Beckham REALLY belongs to (I mean, really - he's played for Milan, he's played for LA, he's played for Manchester United...it's like a bad episode of Maury Povich...)...and all the while this crazy American Mamma spends her days humming the National Anthem and wishing I owned a gun.  

Hold on a minute...    

Ah yes. Stereotypes.  

The thing is, nobody is crazy.  I think the Italians are crazy. I think the Brits are crazy (Shhh.  Don't tell my husband...).  

I think Australians, Russians, and Californians are crazy (they really ARE crazy though).

Each culture has their way of doing things, and it is not always easy to understand why.  I really don't understand why Italians think if you don't wear a scarf that any light breeze has the ability to kill you - or give you diarrhea - but, hey, guess who wears a scarf!? (Unless it's 70 degrees...I've gotta draw the line somewhere).

The key to NOT going crazy is trying to understand WHY - not just calling someone out for being crazy...different is not crazy.

So there you have it my faithful readers...Verdict - NOT Crazy. 

Um.  YET.

xoxo sjkh